Chapter 30
Chapter 30 Main

Well I can’t believe it. My 30th birthday is actually here. I feel like I have the Never Wanna Grow Up syndrome. But truthfully I have done some major growing up in my twenties. 

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If I could turn back the clock 10 years and write a letter to my 20 year old self about what she will endure over the next 10 years, here's what it would say:

You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. That there will be times when your family can’t even look you in the eye because of how disappointed they are in you. But it only matters how you feel when you look at your own self in the mirror. The boys will turn into men and the men will turn into men who act like boys. And even though you may not find your soul mate in your twenties, you will always believe in love and know that he is out there. I would tell her that falling in love with yourself is truly the hardest relationship you will ever embark on. You will still be on that journey when you turn 30 and you will probably be on that journey for the rest of your days, but everyday it gets easier. 

 

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I would tell her that it’s ok that you’re not going to have that career in teaching that you thought you would have since 2nd grade. But you will find yourself in the career you are in and getting to be surrounded by fun and love everyday is a blessing like you wouldn’t believe. 

I would tell her that there are friends in your life today that will be around in 10 years. You will watch them find their forever loves and and you will watch them have babies. These girls will become the women you share your deepest secrets with and your greatest triumphs with. I would tell her that friendships change as people change. But those friendships you will ache the lost of will be replaced by women, who have your back no matter what.

 

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I would tell her that your family will be your biggest support. You will move out and then move back in but through it all your parents will have your back. I would tell her that even though you may get annoyed when they call you now, that in 10 years you will cherish those 2 calls to your mom daily. I would tell her that your little sister will still be your best friend. And you can’t imagine a day when she is not. I would tell her that your Big Sister will give you 2 more little nieces. That those little girls will bring a new life to your family and make Christmas fun again. 

 

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I would tell her that even though you will look back over your twenties fondly, you know the brightest days lie ahead in the next decade of your life. There will be ups and downs as there always is but the person you have become over the last 10 years will be ready to shine brightly in the next decade. 

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Happy Birthday to me! 

 

Photos By:  @jendayiasha

 

Dress: Badgley Mischka by way of Rent the Runway

Heels: Audrey Brooke

Necklace: Fashion to Figure (Old)